Picture of Candi Marie creator of lovecandimarie.com

Hello! My name is Candi. I am a cis-gendered, middle-aged white woman. I know I know…another white lady spouting her “truth” on the internet. We all need more of that, right? No? Okay.

Well, I don’t agree that the color of my skin, my age, my sexuality, or the amount of money I make should determine if I can use my voice or not. And you shouldn’t believe that either. If you are a human and have a lived experience that you want to share, share it. My only advice would be to use it for good, not just for you and yours, but for all humanity and the home we share, planet Earth.

Now that that’s out of the way, let me tell you a little bit more about who I am. 

I married my husband, Dan, in 1997 when I was 20 years old. (He was 22.) It hasn’t been a cakewalk but we have built a solid, loving, playful and fun marriage. We are truly best friends, although that wasn’t always the case.

Dan and I have brought five unique individuals into this world. Each of them has taught us how to be kinder, softer, and more engaged in our own lives. All of my children have brought me to tears, made me laugh, stirred me to anger, and everything in between, and I love them forever and always no matter who they are or who they become. They each carry a piece of my heart and nothing will ever change that.

Being a wife and mother are identities that I genuinely cherish. However, there is so much more for this middle-aged woman to offer this world.

I was raised in the Christian church… nondenominational, full gospel, Assemblies of God, Seventh Day Adventist, Pentecostal, charismatic, evangelical, fundamentalist, and more. The list goes on. It seems to me that I have seen and done it all when it comes to American Christianity, but I know there are more Christian flavors out there. 

I was all over the religious map. On the other hand, my husband was raised Catholic (though not very strictly) and converted to beliefs similar to mine before we married. Without him doing this, there was very little chance we could or would have married. I’ll always be grateful that he did this but I know it brought him much grief and suffering during the first decade or so of our marriage.

For over a decade we raised our children in a faith system that resembled my upbringing more than his own. I can confidently say today that I wish we would have began raising our children more like he was raised (minus the Catholic schools). But, hindsight is definitely 20/20. There is some definite beauty that came out of what we did do, so we focus on that.

For many years, we attended church multiple times a week, taught Sunday School, led Bible studies, volunteered at a homeless shelter, and donated much of our time, money, and resources to “further the kingdom of god.”

We religiously voted against pro-choice legislation, attended walks that claimed to be pro-life, held signs on street corners, and taught our children purity culture garbage. We were so serious about our Christian walk that we homeschooled our children. No one in our circle would have ever predicted where we are today, especially not the me of 2010.

Today, my husband and I have completely deconstructed our Christian faith to the point that we no longer consider ourselves “Christian.” (In fact, I believe that the religion of Christianity isn’t about Christ at all, nor did the one called, Son of God, want it.) We still have a deep spirituality, but we don’t hold to tightly to any of our beliefs in the afterlife.

Our deconversion from the Christian faith began in 2012. Before then, there were some signs of deconstruction happening, but we still were pretty devout Christian conservatives. In 2012, our lives forever changed. Eventually, we came to realize that mainstream Christianity wasn’t something we had faith in any longer.

This has not been an easy road. I made a choice to follow the truth when it presented itself, and I have never looked back. Although this path has been littered with pain, suffering, persecution, slander, and so much more, in the midst of all the darkness, I have discovered love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, goodness, and self-control. 

The fruits of the spirit listed in Galatians 5:22-23 always were a struggle to manufacture when I was Christian. But outside of the church walls, I have finally discovered them. Only out here, you don’t have to force them or try to muster them up against your will. In this space (Christian faith deconstructed), those character traits come naturally with ease.

Do I always exhibit them? No, but the times that I don’t show love, joy, or peace are the times when I am clinging to my old Christian ways. It is a lifelong journey of unlearning the hate and bigotry that I was trained to believe was truth.

There is a “born again” experience within deconstruction, an awakening. But there is also a death of an old life, an old belief system. The truth I sought was different from the truth I discovered. And, I’m not mad, for it is far far better than I ever could have imagined.

There is no going back for me. I am forever changed. And in this space, I will share with you my past experiences, my present failures and successes, and my hopes and dreams for the future. 

In my little corner of the online world, I plan to share my journey including my thoughts on marriage, parenting, education, and so much more.

I hope you come along with me and my family. The bumps, turns, and twists have created a more exciting (and enjoyable!) life than we ever experienced, or dreamt of, within the walls of Christianity. 

What can you expect to find here?

  • faith deconstruction
  • spirituality
  • marriage
  • parenting
  • relationship issues
  • ADHD struggles
  • DIY/crafting
  • reviews of products I’ve used and enjoyed
  • and more…

Welcome to the story of one woman who left all she knew in order to find truth, peace, and love. She found those and is discovering so much more with every step she takes.

Welcome.

Love, Can 💕

“Love can and will change our world.” – Candi Marie

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